Yes. Slogging. Updating last week obviously didn’t happen.
I’ll be honest, last week was rough. Not because bad things happened, but I slipped into a pretty dark place mentally, and for a while I wasn’t sure how to find my way out.
Honestly, I’m not sure I have found my way out yet, but I think I can see the path.
I find it hard to be passionate about anything these days, and since I feel like I’ve been through an emotional roller coaster the last year (and I cry at the drop of a hat – I think I’ve cried more the past two months than I have since I was a teenager. Maybe more.) I keep wondering how much of it is grief (because Tabby was on my mind a lot the past week), and also wondering if I’m actually clinically depressed.
And I know if it’s grief, I just need time. Time to heal and time to find myself again. But it feels like I have no time, because someone always needs something from me, but if I ask for help, there’s always… complications.
In other news, I feel like I’m actually in the right state of mind for writing where Sachi’s at, mentally, in Catalyst. Because her life sucks.
- Clean off desk and get it usable. Once done, start working on organizing filing cabinet.
Not started yet. Will be started ASAP, because will soon need a room that can be shut off from the rest of the house at night to keep a cage for the chicken. Because I want/need my bathroom back. And sadly, yes, I think I have to clean the entire office to get the desk organized.
- Get at least one-third of the way through Catalyst (Undoing bk 1) revisions.
In progress. I need to actually calculate where, plot-wise, I need to be to hit 1/3 of the story. Because I have no clue. I’m just slowly chipping away at it, currently.
- Outline first five chapters of Catalyst sequel, more if possible, and get character charts in order.
No progress yet.
- Finish world map for Undoing
and figure out the calendar.
Calendar done! The hitch with doing the map is that… I think I have to accomplish goal #1 to FIND the map.
You can see all the #WriteMotivation participants and their goals on the Roll Call.
Patricia Lynne (@plynne_writes)January 20, 2014 - 8:40 am ·
Sometimes it takes a while to get out of the darkness. You got the path though, just gotta find the energy to walk into the light. Not always easy, but you can do it. =)
Rebekah LoperJanuary 20, 2014 - 1:16 pm ·
Thanks. 🙂 I will keep taking steps, even if it feels like I’m not moving. Because I know I am moving, part of it is I’m just plain old impatient.
Leigh CarolineJanuary 20, 2014 - 10:13 am ·
*hugs* Sometimes, you just need to borrow a flashlight, or a candle, or some of those silly LED glowy things they sell at fairs and amusement parks, and push through as best you can. If you need an ear, mine’s always available for you.
Also, on Catalyst, try going at the very broadest strokes- Beginning, Middle, Point of No Return, Climax. Then drill down from there. I find, 99% of the time, when I’m having trouble figuring out where in the plot something needs to land, pacing-wise, that usually helps. <3
Rebekah LoperJanuary 20, 2014 - 1:19 pm ·
*hugs* Thanks. Remembering that people are there for me is half the challenge these days. >_<
helenrjJanuary 20, 2014 - 12:59 pm ·
Sometimes supplements help especially since it is winter (no sunshine) and you have been stressed. Maybe adding a supplement (one at a time) : D3, EPA omega capsules, or coconut oil. I use Nutiva coconut oil and stir a bit in my coffee with cream. I wish I had more to offer. I’m sending a hug.
Rebekah LoperJanuary 20, 2014 - 1:27 pm ·
Already on a vitamin D supplement (dr’s order), and am (at least) taking a general multivitamin now (since I’ve finally found one my stomach can handle). Will definitely look into an omega supplement. Out of curiosity, what are the benefits of the coconut oil supposed to be? I use it on some cooking, but only in things where I can mask the flavor of it, because I abhor coconut (both the flavor and texture).
CheyenneJanuary 21, 2014 - 7:26 am ·
I’m sorry it’s been a rough time — I’ve been there and I definitely agree that winter does not help. When the sun is out, I feel inspired, encouraged, almost invincible. Winters since I moved to the UK have been particularly rough on me. I have a sun lamp and I think it helps, as well as the supplements. Also, I make smoothies a few times a week and add whey protein as I’ve been told it increases serotonin levels (though of course, doctor’s advice is key!). Take time for you when you need it, and breathe. *Hugs* The thing I’ve been learning is the little I have control over in this life is actually a BIG thing — my thoughts. Hang in there.
Rebekah LoperJanuary 21, 2014 - 10:07 am ·
I have definitely been letting my thoughts slip a lot lately, so I’m working on getting those back under control. *hugs*
heylookawriterfellowJanuary 21, 2014 - 9:02 am ·
Sometimes writing can set you free when you’re blue; other times it can send you deeper into the muck. Gage your emotions carefully before you delve too deeply into your often-ambitious tasks, OK?
Rebekah LoperJanuary 21, 2014 - 10:08 am ·
Thanks, and I will!
heathercashmanJanuary 22, 2014 - 9:26 am ·
Wish I could hug you. You have to give yourself credit for holding a whole family together. You’re amazing! And sometimes writing our feelings into our characters becomes the therapy we need. I will pray things get better for you!
Rebekah LoperJanuary 22, 2014 - 9:20 pm ·
Thanks, Heather :). Prayers are much appreciated!