Life has been hard, you obviously know that if you’ve read my last post, and been following me somewhat regularly. (Thank you everyone who commented on my last post, by the way! I don’t have the mental and emotional energy to go back and respond to every comment, but please know that your words have been encouraging, and it’s a comfort to know that I’m not alone as I find my way out of these circumstances.)
It’s so very easy to let circumstances become overwhelming. I’m not going to deny what’s happening – a lot has gone wrong lately, some of it within my control, and a lot of it not.
The main thing within my control is my attitude.
As hopeless as things feel, I know they’re not actually hopeless.
So many people proved that to me the past couple days after I… broke down, for lack of a better description. Part of this is my effort to be more honest with myself, and with others, about what’s actually going on in my life.
I have a tendency to withdraw into a shell when I feel overwhelmed. I would rather pretend everything is fine and dandy, because I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to make other people feel like their problems aren’t important, because I know so many people who are having worse problems than me right now.
But the problem is I ultimately convince myself that I’m not important. And people begin to think that I’m invincible, and I can handle anything, until one day I just snap.
Thursday/Friday were a pre-cursor, and Monday was just the icing on the cake.
But I’ve become so focused on the problems that I’ve forgotten there is a life outside of them.
That there is hope outside of them.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you.
Yes, I will help you.
Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.
~Isaiah 41:10 WEB
There are problems, yes, but I need to remember that I have a God – a Father – bigger than any problem I can even conceive.
So rather than “I don’t know what to do with this problem” my new mindset needs to be:
In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
~Philippians 4:6 WEB