When You Have To Do Hard Things

This is not a NaNo update, fyi. That’ll come Sunday or Monday. I’ll just say that currently, I am a solid two days behind.

But it’s been a rough week.

The weather is doing its typical “summer during the day, winter at night” topsy-turvy-ness that is Oklahoma’s autumn signature. We’ve had our first hard freeze this week, and then another light frost last night.

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown yesterday, when I looked around my house – and my garage – and realized I couldn’t even function with the clutter. Literally.

We had some heavy rains late last week, and so we had to move most of the supplies for the chicken coop into the garage – even much of the already-framed parts – and I was supposed to do laundry yesterday, but I couldn’t even get into the washing machine.

The kitchen was a disaster zone (again. I just cleaned it completely on Monday. This is it the problem with making all of your own meals from scratch all the time.) and I ended in tears after that when hubby called me to say that effective Monday, he was being put into essentially the WORST department at work – the department that’s been on mandatory overtime for a few years now, because NO ONE can (pardon my ‘french’) get their shit together over there.

Hubby’s also concerned that if he ends up in that department, it’s going to throw a major wrench into the tentative plans we have for a family vacation with his mom & brothers next year before his youngest brother ships off for boot camp, and then who knows where the Army will send him after that.

Because when they’re on mandatory overtime, they can’t take vacation. Which… I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but I do see how it would make things more difficult.

He didn’t clarify until yesterday afternoon that he’s going into training for that department for one week, and at the end of that week he might go back to his old department. Though he may not have known that when he talked to me on the phone. (Prayers about this job situation are much appreciated!)

All of that ended up with me on the phone with my best friend, practically in tears, as I just vented.

But the underlying thing to all of that?

It’s good news, but it’s hard to deal with, because I don’t have the time I thought I would have to deal with it emotionally.

Winnie’s appointment for the iodine radiation therapy was moved up. Instead of going in on the 21st of November… she goes in today.

And she will probably not come home for two weeks. And for two weeks after that, she can’t sleep with us, because she’ll still be mildly radioactive.

I didn’t get to spend as much time with Winnie yesterday as I needed, or wanted, to. I didn’t sleep well last night because I was constantly waking up and looking for her. At least from 4:30-6:30 this morning, she just sat on me as I dozed, so even if I didn’t really sleep, I at least relaxed.

We have to leave in half an hour. Hubby said his tearful ‘see you later’ to the cat this morning, and I’ve cried about five times over the course of the last 24 hours.

It’s going to be a hard two weeks. But financially, and health-wise for Winnie, this is really the best thing to do to make sure she continues a long, healthy life.

It’s just really hard.

Queen Winnie on her throne. (She really likes that chair.)
Queen Winnie on her throne. (She really likes that chair.)

Recent Comments

    • Rebekah Loper
      November 7, 2014 - 3:18 pm · Reply

      I think they will fly by, between still trying to finish the coop, and keeping caught up on NaNo. Thanksgiving being nearly around the corner will help, too.

      Tonight’s going to be really hard, though. Because she always sleeps with us – from the very first night we brought her home.

  • jazzfeathers
    November 7, 2014 - 12:30 pm · Reply

    All my thoughts go out to you. I know what a difficult situation at work means. I hope everything will turn for the best for you husband. Courage.

    And I really hope everything will be fine with Winnie. I know it’s hard when they are away. My cat Apache was in the ‘hospital’ for nearly two weeks himself a couple of years ago, and none of us liked it. But everything was fine in the end, and that’s what counts, right?
    A big hug to you and family.

    • Rebekah Loper
      November 7, 2014 - 3:23 pm · Reply

      Thanks, Sarah! They did an ultrasound of her kidneys beforehand, because that’s the main concern besides the hyperthyroid, and everything looked good! The veterinarian was very confident that it would work well for Winnie… but yeah, it’s the fact that she’s not here for two weeks that’s the hardest.

  • Maria Zannini
    November 7, 2014 - 5:21 pm · Reply

    I’m so sorry you’ve been going through such a hard time. I can’t imagine having to be without my fur baby for two whole weeks.

    My thoughts are with Winnie. I hope she comes home soon.

  • Lori L MacLaughlin
    November 7, 2014 - 10:32 pm · Reply

    Sorry you’ve had such a hard week. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that Winnie comes through her treatment well and that your husband’s job situation works out for the better. Hang in there!

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About Rebekah

Rebekah Loper writes character-driven epic fantasy featuring resilient women in trying and impossible circumstances who just want to save themselves but usually end up saving the world, often while falling in love.
She lives in Tulsa, OK with her husband, dog, two formerly feral cats, a small flock of feathered dragons (...chickens. They're chickens), and an extensive tea collection. When she's not writing, she battles the Oklahoma elements in an effort to create a productive, permaculture urban homestead.